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Shattered dreams

I finished "Shattered dreams. My life as a polygamist's wife" by Irene Spencer.

Former Fundamentalist Mormon speaks out about her life as a second wife in a polygamous marriage. She was married at 16, endured enormous hardships, living for years without common benefits of civilization, like water and electricity, was sharing her husband with 9 other wives, was mother to 13 children, and was mostly unhappy and depressed. She did it, because she believed in the afterlife as an exalted goddess, which could be obtained only by living "The Principle".

Hart rending as it is, I was amazed by the strong convictions implemented during her childhood that did not leave her mind, and despite the doubts, carried her to a distant lands and a life which many have no clue about. Real brain washing works. It is sublime, perverse and totally controlling.

The best news is, that she has found God's love at the end of it all. Currently she has 119 grandchildren and 37 great-grandchildren.

Read more in her website IreneSpencerBooks.com and an interview with her.

Good video called "Lifting the veil of polygamy" introducing stories of people who lived through similar circumstances.

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you can buy a bride in Egypt for $ 8,000

According to BBC NEWS, a 92 old man did not receive permission to marry 17 year old girl, because the gap between the spouses must be no bigger than 25 years. Like always, there is a loophole. If you are foreigner, and want to marry someone who is more then 25 years younger then you, just pay $8,000, on her account in the bank, and she is yours. Last year there was 173 happy Egyptian, young and rich brides taken to God knows where...

If this is not legalizing human trafficking, what is it? It is a fact, that poor rural families will "sell" their young daughters to whoever wants to pay. And with the Muslim societies obsessed with virginity, men will pay a lot of money... unfortunately.

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Our 14th Wedding Anniversary

Over the course of 14 years, my beautiful wife and I have covered much territory and I am blessed to have been all over the world together with her. We have lived in three continents (Europe / Asia / North America), five countries (Russia / Poland / Saudi Arabia / Qatar / USA), seven cities, and 15 apartments/houses.

I began praying for Iwona when I was seven. Even though I did not know her name, I knew God knew who she was and where she was located. I prayed that wherever she was on earth, for God to encounter her, for her protection, for her purity, for her to prophesy over me and for our paths to cross in God's timing.

In 1991, during an extended fast in Russia, God asked me about the list that I had pertaining to my requirements of a perfect wife.

He said, "Do you want what you think is best or what I think is best?"

I said, "Of course--whatever You think is best!"

He told me to throw away my little list because it would be someone I would never suspect. One month later, Iwona arrived in Moscow to join our ministry staff. At that time, she spoke four languages. English was not one of them.

After a month, I was invited to her 26th birthday party. I observed at the party that Iwona was not eating, so I asked her roommate, Ania, who told me that Iwona was fasting. I asked Ania to interpret for me as I spoke with Iwona. I asked Iwona how long is she fasting and she said, "eighteen days". I thought 18 days was an odd number and then asked, "Why eighteen days?" She said that there were 18 staff members on our new church plant and that she was focusing each day on a different staff member. I was amazed and provoked!

I asked if she had prayed for me yet. She said she would be praying for me in two days. I asked her to tell me if God gave her anything for me. She kindly agreed. Two days later, there was a knock at my door. Ania handed me a three-page prophecy that she translated for me from Iwona. I closed my door, read it, and then cried for two days. I had never had a prophecy given to me before and this one melted my heart. It was like a love letter from God. I asked God, "Who is this Polish girl?"

He said, "This is the one you have been praying for since you were seven." At that point, I knew! I would have never guessed a four-year-older, Polish, Catholic girl who didn't speak English would be my wife-to-be.

With a Polish/Russian/English dictionary, we began to share our dreams, goals, hearts desires, visions and plans with each other. I never met someone who thought so much like me in my life.

After spending 11 days with her, at midnight on New Year's Eve, after sledding down a huge hill behind our apartment complex, she came right out and told me, "I did not come to Russia to waste my time in a relationship; I came here to win Russians to the Lord, so tell me if this is going somewhere or I do not have time for you." I gulped. I was not ready to say what God told me, but she threw the ball in my court and I had no choice but to tell her. I then said, "God told me that you are going to be my wife." She said, "Good, God told me you were going to be my husband." I said, "Well, so will you marry me?" She said, "Yes."

We then decided from that moment we would fast again until we each received three confirmations from God that this is His will. Twelve days later we broke the fast and shared with each other the three confirmations we each received.

I called my parents to tell them the good news. They were not to thrilled. Neither was my sending church. It is a long story that I may share at a later date or in our book. I was basically given a decision from my leadership: Leave Iwona and keep my youth group in Moscow or leave Russia and keep Iwona. They gave me a few days to think about it. I told them I did not need a few days; I knew my answer. I told them, "I am keeping Iwona because she is my future." I was told to leave Russia that very week and that I could not meet with the youth group to explain the reasons why I was leaving.

I had to return to America and Iwona to Poland. I was told that I could not see her for one year to prove that this love was true. I did not see her 15 months, as the test I had to pass.

From that cold Russian New Year's eve night in Moscow where I proposed to Iwona, it took two and a half years before all was said and done before we were able to get married!

As life has moved us closer together, we now have three beautiful kids, and she is still the woman of my dreams and always will be!

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nie znęcaj się

nie znęcaj się nade mną

oprzytomnieję bez biczowania

nalożę karmazynowy chałat i pofrunę przed siebie

szukać tego co przepadło bez wieści

gdzie jest ta miłość co nie ustaje

jej woń wyparowała

wokół tylko stęchlizna pustych słów

znaczonych beznamiętnym czekaniem

uciekła mi ta wariatka

popytam przechodniów

może co widzieli

może ktoś zdobył jej nieśmiertelny autograf

odsłonię swą zapłakaną twarz

może usłyszy mój wrzaskliwy krzyk

i ocali mnie od

rozpaczy zapomnienia

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from vampires to Christ

out-of-egypt.gif road-to-cana.jpg I rarely read magazines. In the last issue of TIME I've found something. Have you heard of Anne Rice? Well, for the last decades she is known in USA and all over the world for her writing genius.

She is known as an author of the "Vampire Chronicles" series ( one of them is "Interview with the vampire"). After 38 years of being an atheist, she says:

"...faith came back to me. I had to stop writing about vampires, because they had been a metaphor for lost souls. Instead, I made up my mind to concentrate on Jesus Christ."

What caused it?

"Americans like to believe we turn to religion because of an accident or the loss of a loved one, but in my case it was simply the culmination of searching. I wrestled with a lot of theological questions, and then one afternoon, I thought, I love you--I want to go back to you."

One afternoon. One thought. One love.

That's what we do at IHOP, in a way. We pray a lot for those "one thought" moments to cross peoples minds, to pierce their hearts. We pray a lot for those "suddenlies" to invade peoples souls. We pray for those desires to "come back" to the first love to arise from within them.

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